Monday, June 7, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Priorities.
Stranger: hey
You: why 'ello thea govna
You: lovely day tisnt it
Stranger: tis indeed mah good sah
Stranger: how's ya family been doin?
You: quite swell. except fo timmy. pooa pooa wittle timmy
Stranger: timmy? good heavens, what on erth has 'appened to timmy?
You: well just last week 'is flu stated actin up and 'is wooden leg fell off once again
Stranger: oh no! not the wooden leg agayn! I swea', yad think a good ol' prosthetic would do da trick!
You: aye. but mi fatha cannot affoad one becaus of 'is job at the factory
You: aye tis a sad sad thing
Stranger: tis a sad thing indeed. well ol' chap, it was great chattin on with ya but I gotta deliver this gallon of PCP to sum gangstas soon or they'll gonna murda mah wife and kids. So a good afternoon to ya!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Imposters
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Sir, yes, sir!
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: at attention!
Stranger: yessir!
You: at ease, soldier
Stranger: yessir!
You: what's your name, soldier!
You: I SAID WHAT'S YOUR NAME, SOLDIER!
Stranger: Private Parts, sir!
You: And, what are you here for, Private!
Stranger: to by kicked in the ass by horny 15 yo, sir!
Stranger: *be
You: Very good. VERY DAMN GOOD, SOLDIER
Stranger: thank you, sir!
You: All of you should learn from this one, filthy scumbags!!!
You: I'm your new Instructor!
You: Sergeant Pepper
Stranger: sir, yes, sir!
Stranger: sir, yes, sir!
You: Well, now you have your objective in mind, Private Parts?
Stranger: sir, no, sir!
You: WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO, PRIVATE?
Stranger: sir, waiting for my orders, sir!
You: Well, we've camped here for one single mission
Stranger: sir, yes, sir!
You: For the most dangerous mission that this unit have ever tried to acomplish
Stranger: sir, yes, sir!
You: You're gonna find an actual girl here in the hostile land called Omegle!
Stranger: sir, permission to speak, sir!
You: And actual hot single girl that could save this place from decadency and old bald fat men!
You: Permission granted, private!
Stranger: sir, this reminds me of the time we were looking for the wmd in Iraq, sir!
Stranger: sir, with all due respect, sir
Stranger: I think you are insane, sir!
Stranger: sir, there are no actual girls on omegle, sir!
You: Listen to me, Private, I've sent soldiers to the guardroom for less than that... do you want to end in the guardroom, Private? DON YOU WANT TO?
You: DO YOU WANT TO END IN THE FUCKING GUARDROOM?
Stranger: sir, no, sir!
Stranger: but I wasn't told that it would be a suicide mission, sir!
You: You're the best of your troop, Parts, so i will be soft for once... I'm getting old and War's change since the times it was only shooting and everything that was moving...ah... good times
You: It won't be a suicide mission, Private?
You: ... What's your first name, son?
Stranger: sir, Tiny, sir!
You: Private Tiny Parts. It sounds pretty familiar to me. Anyways, son. This is not like with the wmd. Not this time.
Stranger: sir, with all due respect, sir!
Stranger: I think our intelligence seems to be faulty again, sir!
You: There's a New president in the White House. A new High Commander that can't be wors than the old one. Even being... God save us...“Not white”.
Stranger: sir, I have been here for more than two months, sir!
You: And if he says we have to find chicks in Omegle, what do we do, Private!
You: What do we do??
Stranger: sir, I do not know, sir!
You: Two Month is not enough, Private. Two months are fucking bullshit!
You: i spent 6 months on Vietnam before seeing my first Yellow.
Stranger: sir, I am sorry, sir
Stranger: sir, I will look further, sir!
You: You're young and impulsive. It's not your fault. Just remember not to question your chain of command!
Stranger: sir, yes, sir!
Stranger: sir, permission to speak, sir!
You: I like you son! I really do! We're gonna find those hot chicks and I feel in my guts that we're gonna need Private Tiny Parts for doing it!
You: Permission granted, Private
Stranger: sir, what are we to do, once we find a girl on omegle, sir?
Connection imploded.
















